(Web manager note: Steve Larson is the reigning Gross Men’s Club Senior Champion. He carded a 73 in the first round last year and demoralized the field of senior players. Mr. Larson is a humble and unpretentious man and did not feel comfortable including that major achievement in his profile. It is not my policy nor desire to edit these member profile submissions, but you have to admit, that was a glaring omission that I couldn’t ignore.)
A few highlights of my golfing career:
Steve’s friend, Betty Lema, and her husband, “Champagne Tony”.
I shot an 82 in my first competitive round of golf as a 9th grader . . . and that was for 9 holes. My opponent won by 27 shots.
As a 15-year-old, I followed my favorite professional golfer of all time — Champagne Tony Lema at the old St. Paul Open. Following a rain-drenched round in which Tony played quite badly and in which his gallery consisted of two — me and a quite attractive red-haired woman. When said woman asked if I was a fan and I answered in the affirmative, she said she was Tony’s wife and that if I wanted to wait around, he would be coming out of the clubhouse shortly and I could talk to him and get his autograph. I had a short but gracious conversation with him and got the autograph. Unfortunately, it was not long after that I read in the newspaper that Tony Lema and his wife Betty had died in a plane crash.
On a more positive note, I once finished 10th in the State Caddy Tournament at the old Gall’s Golf Course (now Manitou Ridge).
I have had two holes-in-one in my life, but readily admit that they pale in comparison with one I witnessed last year (see description below).
I enjoyed my first year in the Gross Men’s Club and look forward to my second.
(Web manager note #2: Mr. Larson is also known to employ sarcasm and attempts at humor as defense mechanisms to combat his innate shyness and self-esteem issues. Case in point — here’s the final part of the profile he submitted.)
I joined the Men’s club last year (2019) EVEN knowing that it could lead to playing rounds of golf with the NGMCW (Notorious Gross Men’s Club Webmaster). As it turned out, those rounds were not entirely unpleasant. In fact, I got the thrill of a lifetime when said NGMCW holed out an Ace in heated competition with the University of Minnesota Men’s Club. While I may have counted the birth of any of my three children ahead of that “thrill”, I was corrected — again by said NGMCW — and now realize the correctness of his correction.
(Web manager note #2A: Since Mr. Larson has made such an overly big deal about this particular Hole-In-One, it’s probably a good time to show the “nearie” sign. You might notice that this was posted on Twitter by OUR OPPONENTS in the “Ryder Cup” tournament, NOT the Gross Men’s Club. The Web Manager has since gotten over this snub and has moved on.
(Web manager note #3: There’s one more accomplishment that Mr. Larson was too modest to mention in his profile. The next time you play the University of Minnesota Golf Course, stop at the rest room near the 3rd and 16th greens. After you’ve finished doing whatever you needed to do, look closely at the small commemorative plaque above the water fountain. The metal is now badly tarnished and hard to read, but the memory of what he did lives on in the hearts and minds of those who played with Steve that day so many years ago. Look closely and you might be able to make out these words, “Generously Refurbished by Steve ‘Crash’ Larson”. The plaque honors Steve and memorializes one of those events that Steve doesn’t like to talk about, but that’s just the kind of guy Steve is, you know? When you visit the memorial, pause for a moment, sip the cool, refreshing, gurgling water and linger to savor it. And next time you see Steve, thank him for the shiny, non-smashed water fountain.)